Undeniable (Fated series Book 4) Read online

  I watched as Jack’s face lit up even more, as though I was asking him about his favourite subject. I quickly went back to nervously plucking blades of grass, one at a time. He cleared his throat and began.

  ‘Well, I’m lucky. I have the average family; mum, dad and two siblings. My sisters and I are very close. I’m the baby, of course… that’s where I get these baby-faced looks from. I’m twenty, I also live at home.’ I allowed my attention to wander up from the smooth grass to his face and smiled at him, thinking how much younger than me he was, but how much more worldly and together he seemed.

  ‘I love your smile; do ya know that? In fact, I would do almost anything to put it there.’ He reached his long arm up and stroked very gently down my cheek. That very simple touch made my body jerk awake in response. I reluctantly moved away from him a little and his arm dropped away to pick up his drink. With a sigh, he sat up and started to chug at the orange juice he had bought.

  The silence between us was deafening.

  ‘What’s going on, Lily?’ he questioned.

  ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘There’s chemistry between us, like I’ve never felt before. We enjoy each other’s company and hell you’ve been flirting with me for like two weeks now. Yet, if I touch ya, you back off like a frightened animal.’

  ‘Jack, I’m engaged… I’ve already told you.’

  He turned his body around to face mine, his heavy boots clumping into the grass as he inched his body nearer to close the gap between us. His long legs were now placed either side of me, effectively trapping me within the confines of his body. I looked at his face that was now only inches from mine.

  ‘Jack?’ I implored, confused at finding us so close.

  ‘What, Lily? You’re a mess of mixed signals, do ya know that?... Yes, you told us you were engaged, but you sure as hell don’t act like an engaged person should. I can only think that either your head or your heart ain’t in it… or maybe it’s both?’

  ‘I can assure you I’m very engaged,’ I added in my defence. His body encasing mine, even with no contact, was causing strange sensations to zip around my body. I could smell his spicy cologne and I desperately wanted to bury my face into the crevice where his shoulder met his neck, just to see if his skin felt as warm as I imagined it would.

  ‘Your words say you are, but your body tells me otherwise.’ He let that hang between us for a few seconds, then he suddenly leapt up to his feet and I was left sitting on the grass in a puddle of awakened hormones, staring at his black unlaced boots. I lifted my gaze to see him almost fighting with himself not to touch me. He had his hands clasped together at the top of his head, and he was staring down at me. ‘I think you should agree to go out with me.’

  ‘I… can’t, Jack. I don’t date.’

  ‘I know ya don’t go out with anyone, but you can feel this as well as I can. Denying it won’t make it disappear. I think we need to see exactly what’s going on here with us.’

  ‘I’ve never been on a date.’ I realised what I had said as the words left my mouth. I allowed my eyes to leave his and travel back down his bare chest to his boots.

  ‘Never? That there says it all… What engaged woman has never been out on a fucking date? What sorta guy wouldn’t want ya by his side all the time? The women in my family are adored, and my dad and I are only too pleased to take them out…’ I heard a long exhale of disbelief leave his mouth. ‘Agree to come out with me, Lils. I won’t force ya… but I will try my best to convince you that ya should… I warn you though… if you say no, I won’t ask you again.’ I heard him crack his knuckles, something he seemed to do when he was thinking about something.

  ‘I’m four years older than you. Why would you want a date with me? There are loads of young women here fawning all over you. I don’t understand why you want to go out with me?’ I spat out, angry at his warning.

  I watched as he rocked back on his boots, his jeans moved down a little and I knew he had pushed his hands down deep inside his pockets in frustration.

  ‘Don’t use my age as a reason why we can’t be together. Age isn’t a reason, it’s just a fucking number.’ I could hear anger creeping into his voice. My words had obviously found an exposed nerve.

  I remained still as he once again changed his position in front of me. His knees bent and he sat back on his haunches, bringing him nearly to my level once again. His elbows came down to rest on his knees, making him lean so very close to where I sat.

  ‘Just because the date I was born is four years after yours, don’t doubt that I’m competent enough to look after ya, to make you smile and laugh, to make love to you, to make ya scream my name in the throes of ecstasy… I’ve seen, taken part in, and experienced more in my lifetime than some forty-year-olds.’ His hand reached out and his thumb brushed over my trembling bottom lip. It seemed the overprotective Jack was coming out to play and it appeared he didn’t like to be thwarted.

  ‘If my age is all that’s stopping ya from being with me, then you’re the one showing your immaturity, not me.’

  I reluctantly turned my face, leaving his hand to once again fall away.

  ‘You don’t understand, I can’t do this… I’m not free. You think you want me, but I’m sure it’s just a phase you’re going through. Once you’ve had me, you’ll drop me just as quickly. I can’t allow you to have me, I don’t know how to let you have me!’ I was also starting to feel the stirrings of anger. Anger at him for his demands, but mainly anger at my situation. I should be free to choose my own path in life, but I knew I wasn’t strong enough to do it.

  Jack shook his head at my outburst.

  ‘If you want to behave like a spoilt petulant child, then believe me I’ll treat you like one.’ His voice deepened with his anger

  ‘What are you going to do, take my sweets?’ I felt my hands lift to either side of my hips.

  The anger between us was now palpable.

  ‘No… but I’ll spank your arse until it turns pink under my hand. Does that answer your question?’

  I looked down, shocked at his last comment, but I also felt hotter than ever. I had never experienced the feelings before that this man just seemed to be able to drag out of me. But I wasn’t uncomfortable with them, not with him. If Anton had said something about smacking my bottom I would have felt sick with revulsion, of that I was sure.

  ‘No answer? Fine, I’ll leave you to eat your lunch in peace. See ya after the weekend.’ I watched as his long legs spirited him down the bank and away. He tucked a corner of his T-shirt into a front pocket and disappeared from my view.

  I wanted to tell him I wasn’t going home this weekend, but after our fraught conversation I hadn’t dared to.

  I ate my lunch in silence, the beauty of the place I was sat in seemed much duller now without his presence.

  This was a huge fucking mistake.

  I shouldn’t have come here. I was finding it hard enough to keep my fucking hands to myself in daylight. At night with alcohol beginning to take over my system it was proving next to fucking impossible, I could feel blood surging around my body and I knew it wasn’t a good sign. I should have accepted the fight that had been offered to me tonight, I knew just how much I craved the violence. It was the only thing that liberated me from my self-made purgatory and released me, even if only for a short while, from the constant erupting volcano my body had become. The moment that I had found out she was coming tonight, I had turned down the fight without a second thought. I leant my head back and closed my eyes, letting out a rush of air through my teeth as I rolled my head around on my shoulders trying to release the tension in my spine, willing my body to relax.

  I watched her from my position on the edge of a stinking, ancient settee. I knew I was being a miserable bastard; Not talking to anybody, refusing point blank to have a conversation with anyone who dared to sit down next to me, answering in straight yes or no answers, and refusing to take part in all social niceties. I could see that most of the people in
the large room were doing all they could not to not make eye contact with me. That was fine, it suited me.

  It was the first party Lily had come to since she had arrived and I had so far hated every fucking minute of it. Parties always happened at the weekend and for the last two weekends she had gone home. Why? I hadn’t a clue, as the very best part of being away at university was the weekends. But I suppose when you’re engaged to another person you needed to spend some time with them. I had spent the whole of those weekends just thinking of her in some ungrateful bastard’s arms.

  But this weekend, she was here. And this weekend she was very much still in the forefront of my mind. After our angered conversation two days before, this was the first time we had been in the same room as each other. I’d made sure of it, not trusting myself to be around her without forcing her to see my reasoning. But now we were both here, and all I wanted to do was to watch her. In fact, I was finding it difficult to tear my eyes away. I was hunched over; with my elbows digging into my jean-clad thighs. I was twirling an empty, green beer bottle around by the neck, not looking at it as I moved it between the tips of my fingers from memory alone. I refused to avert my eyes from staring at Lily and Katy, as they stood talking to a couple of guys. Katy had rigged the whole pretence of a friendly chat with them. I knew the guys stood no hope with them, as Katy was looking around for Charlie every chance she got, and to be fair he seemed to be watching her, too. Lily just looked uncomfortable in their presence.

  For the three weeks since Lily’s engagement declaration, I had fought with every cell in my body not to react to her. I refused to allow myself to smell her floral scent and the apple shampoo in her hair as she leaned in closer to me when we studied together. We had met twice a week to work on the economics Professor Clarke had just taught us. I had also gone over with her anything that I had been taught the previous year that could help her with the current topic, hoping it would help her play catch up. I had very quickly concluded, that her being here was a positive for me and I desperately needed her to stay.

  I knew she had spat out about her engagement, to a bunch of mainly complete strangers, in the hope I would back off.

  So, I had, until a couple of days ago.

  Fuck me, it had been hard.

  I was, after all, mostly a decent guy. But right now, after consuming a few beers it was the arsehole that I also knew was in me that seemed to be beating down my decent side. In fact, he was coming a very poor fucking second.

  ‘If you’re gonna be this fucking miserable all night, gobshite, you should have taken the fight and not come to the party,’ Charlie commented, as he stood blocking me from my obsession.

  ‘Fuck off. I don’t need or want your words of wisdom right now, and remember if I wasn’t here, you wouldn’t have got in either… Tell me exactly why you didn’t take a fight tonight?’ I already knew the answer, I just wanted to rattle his cage a little, I could see that Katy was growing on him.

  Charlie punched my shoulder and sat down next to me making the settee groan.

  ‘Figured you may need your wingman… The girls are looking hot tonight?’ he added.

  ‘When do I ever need a wingman? And was that a question or a statement?’ I continued twirling the empty bottle around on the floor.

  ‘What the FUCK has crawled up your arse and died?’

  ‘Nothing… I just ain’t feeling it tonight, ya know?’

  ‘Well, I think I’ll tell you just how I’m seeing it.’

  ‘Really?’

  ‘Yeah, really… now sit the fuck back and listen to Uncle Charlie.’

  I sat up and leant back after a huge hairy forearm knocked into my chest and pushed me backwards. It was funny what I’d take from Charlie, stuff that I wouldn’t have accepted from anyone else. Touching me when I was in this sort of dark mood was like a red rag to a bull. He didn’t give a shit though and I thanked whoever it was for putting him in my life. As far as I saw it, everyone needed a Charlie. I let his voice wash over me, but I was lost in my own thoughts.

  I had issues.

  I knew that and so did anyone that was close to me.

  It was hard to explain exactly what had caused my issues, well that’s what the shrink my father had taken me to six years ago had said. It would’ve been difficult for him to say otherwise, as I hadn’t told him exactly what went on inside my head. I gave him just enough information to make him scratch his goatee and ponder on as he observed me. His final diagnosis had been that I had overprotection issues, and he was right. He said I was just wired that way, said I was born with them. He was wrong, but I hadn’t wanted my parents to feel any more guilt than they already did.

  I hadn’t been born with them, they had manifested themselves eight years ago.

  My middle sister, Bella, had started going out with a piece of scum and then had become involved with his family. Although we hadn’t known exactly what was going on at the time, what I had known was my sister needed help and I hadn’t been old enough to do anything about it. They had overpowered her and systematically abused her; mentally, physically and sexually. Anger had burned inside me as I had watched helplessly as piece by fucking piece they disassembled her and recreated a subservient woman. It had killed me to watch my family, as we stood by and saw her slowly at first, then very quickly, become a shadow of her former self. His family inhibited my formerly vibrant sister, until she was a controlled creature who was putty in their obnoxious hands.

  I knew that one day I would get my revenge on them; I was fated to. It was inevitable that the fights I was now being paid for, were going to be my fucking ticket to that reprisal. However long it took for that to happen, I was in until the end. What they had started inside me was irrevocable.

  I knew that my overprotectiveness had stemmed from that experience. It had made me so very angry deep down inside and I had begun to look for an outlet to calm my counterproductive resentment. My need for violence came from that situation, it was weird how I felt most peaceful after a fight. It suppressed the raging volcano inside me and gave me chance to calmly move on and breathe again.

  ‘You’re not fucking listening to me are ya, gobshite.’ A large fist thumped into my chest. My head whipped around to face him. The sudden thump had brought my temper storming to the surface. My fists instinctively clenched. Realising it was only Charlie that had intruded on my thoughts I ordered my temper to calm down. ‘Stand down. Breathe, arsehole… its only me.’ He spoke through my red mist. I rolled my head around on my neck, feeling the clicks I was looking for, and exhaled deeply.

  ‘No… you lost me,’ I answered him, then leant forward again to observe my fixation more closely.

  ‘I was saying, that you have it bad for Lily and ya need to do something about it or walk away… no more half measures. It’s making you a depressed fuck and I’m getting sick of it.’ He looked at me again just to check I had heard him. I lifted my empty green bottle up to his and clinked the necks together.

  ‘Come on… we need to rescue them from Giles,’ he responded.

  Charlie stood up next to me. I looked at the girls and then back at him in question.

  ‘Who the fuck is Giles?’

  ‘One of those arseholes over there.’ He casually tipped his head sideways towards Lily and the small group she was in. ‘One of them has to be a Giles… only posh gits wear coloured fucking trousers.’

  I looked again and a smile started to tease the corners of my mouth. Charlie’s power of observation was one of his strong points. I watched as the posh git in the dark red jeans leant closer to my girl and began to whisper in her ear.

  ‘Time to move, gobshite. He’s just told her how on their first date he can’t wait to shove his finger up her arse.’

  I knew he was joking, but the total look of revulsion on Lily’s face as she moved away from “Giles” was enough to spur me on. I stood up and started crossing the distance between us in one movement. I went up behind Lily, snaking one arm around her waist. The other I wra
pped around her so it lay across her collarbones, lightly putting pressure on the dip at the base of her neck and my hand held gently onto her shoulder. I pulled her tiny frame to me with ease. She had immediately stiffened at my touch and then after inhaling she started to relax. It was as though she had realised it was me by smell alone. I kissed the top of her head and looked over the top at the blokes stood with her and a stunned Katy.

  ‘Thanks for your incredibly stimulating conversation, but your strange dress sense is no longer required.’ I watched them take in both Charlie and me and they quickly said their goodbyes.

  Katy glared at Charlie and crossed her arms defensively across her chest. I let them get on with it. My concentration was elsewhere.

  ‘Thanks for rescuing me, Jack… they’ve gone. You can let go of me now.’

  ‘I could,’ I answered, not moving one bit. I liked the way she felt in my arms. She felt right. Her tiny frame surrounded by my taller one. I had to bend quite a bit, but surprisingly it felt comfortable.

  She was safe in my arms. For the first time in days I felt at peace with myself. Maybe fighting wasn’t the only thing that quelled the volcano within me?

  I felt her hands connect with me, one on each of my bare forearms. She could have prised my arms away from her, but she did nothing. Instead we just stood there with her in my arms, swaying to the music and watching like voyeurs at the heated conversation going on between our two best friends.

  ‘Do ya wanna dance?’ I bent down and spoke in her ear. I hadn’t turned her around to talk to her. Somehow it was just easier this way, the feelings she had stirred inside me were going to be evident to see on my face. It was a fifties themed party and lots of people had dressed up. I could hear an old song that I recognised as one by Elvis, it was a slow song and one that my mum had often played, the title was something about not knowing me and it seemed right.

  ‘You dance?’ she questioned.

  ‘I ain’t a complete fucking Neanderthal, ya know?’

  ‘I’ve never been shown how to dance.’