Irrevocable (Fated series (can be read as a standalone) Book 3) Read online

  ‘Alex, I take it by the look on your face it’s over? Is everyone unhurt?’

  ‘It’s fucking over alright… they’ve been taken into custody. Everybody’s good, John. I’m satisfied, that at this moment the risk to my family and Bella’s, is over. That’s a good fucking feeling.’

  ‘That’s brilliant, give Hunter a drink from me, he’s done an excellent job in my absence.’ I leant back further into the dining room chair, sipping from the cut-glass tumbler and watching the translucent liquid as I swirled it up high towards the rim of the glass, then watched it bead together before it formed a whole once more.

  ‘It’s more than brilliant. It’s fucking fantastic! I couldn’t cope with knowing Frankie and our child might be in danger. Nathan got a bit heavy handed with the son, but who could blame him? I’ve managed to square it with the FBI here. As you know it’s not what you know but who you know that helps at times like these.’ I watched as he ran his hands through his hair. A Blackmore trait, as they all seemed to mimic the same movement in frustration.

  ‘I’m beginning to understand the fear of losing someone, Alex.’

  I saw the moment he took in what I had said.

  ‘So, she’s cracked the iceberg, formally known as Edwards, has she? I knew the fucking day would come. Good on her. Fuck me, I’ve just realised you’re not wearing a tie and your shirt’s unbuttoned, John.’ I watched as the bastard glanced quickly at his bare wrist pretending to check the time. ‘You’re not even off the clock yet! You look almost… can I say it? Relaxed! I can’t wait to meet the new Mrs. Edwards.’ At that moment, he stopped fidgeting around with papers to the side of his laptop and his eyes found mine, concentrating on me exclusively. I knew something serious was about to be discussed. I knew what he was trying to say the very moment the words left his lips. ‘You need to let her in, John. If you want her to stay around you need to tell her the truth. I found out the hard way with Frankie and I lost her for a few months, it almost killed me. Don’t make my mistakes.’

  ‘I hear you,’ I acknowledged. ‘How’s Frankie doing after all this?’ I asked, wanting to know how she was but equally trying to change the subject, I knew that he would gladly discuss the love of his life. I admired my friend greatly, he had found the love of his life early on and although the timing wasn’t right, he had stayed in the background until it was. His family life had as much shit in it as mine, but his future contained everything he had ever wanted, a loving wife and a child on the way.

  ‘She’s fantastic, she’s blooming…’

  Alex was still talking and for the first time ever I shut out the facts he was telling me and I zoned out, concentrating on the realisation that he had everything I now wanted. I was ready to have a family of my own.

  The thought didn’t frighten me. I just hadn’t ever thought it would be something I would entertain. The difference in my life was Jasmin. She had appeared in my life with nothing, but she had brought me everything.

  I loved her.

  My heart rate quickened in panic. Whatever happened now, I had to keep her. I knew I had to open up to her, I knew I had to change, if that was even possible? But, I understood it was what I needed to do.

  We went over a few more security details and discussed my return to the states in just under a week’s time. A little reluctantly I let my friend return to his life, instantly missing his experience and guidance on affairs of the heart. I shut down my Mac and stood, making my way to the side table where the silver drinks tray was kept. Placing my empty glass down on the table I refilled it and then returned to the woman who had stolen my heart. I just hoped I was capable of opening up enough, so that I could keep her by my side.

  She belonged to me and I belonged with her. The feeling of finally being in the right place, was something I wasn’t going to let go of without a fight. For the first time in nearly thirty years I was exactly where I was meant to be, every single part of my body knew it. I just had to convince my rational brain to accept it.

  The bath had been a wonderful escape while I thought through my plan of attack. Although I knew it was the early hours of the morning in Rome and I should be sleeping, I was lay face down on the bed, my newly-shaved and smooth, moisturised legs crossed at the knee and moving up and down in time to the music that was coming from the earbud I was wearing in one ear. Rome was in the height of summer so even this early in the morning it was warm and balmy, and because of this I was only wearing a pretty little cream lace camisole and short set. The terrace doors were open and the very essence and sounds of Rome filtered in, ramping up my excitement as I browsed over the couple of tourist leaflets I had picked up from the foyer on our way in. Church bells rang every hour from each corner of the city and with every chime my heart beat quicker with the anticipation of all I was going to see over the next few days.

  I had to make this happen, we needed to do normal things together, we needed to spend time together and create memories. I circled the things I wanted to see with my finger, having been unable to find a pen to use. I was lost in my own thoughts and excitement as I waited for my husband to appear back from his temporary office.

  ‘I could watch you forever.’ His deep voice made me turn to him. I pulled my earbud out and sat up quickly taking in the gorgeous sight of my husband.

  He looked relaxed and it suited him. John was nearly as tall as the doorframe he stood leaning casually against. His shirt was undone, framing his body like the work of art it was and I could see his completely hairless, well-defined chest. He had an eight-pack of muscle where normal people had a stomach, and a fine, dark smattering of hair led down inside his smart, belted trousers. I quickly fathomed that my inspection of his body had not gone unnoticed, as a small laugh left the man I was unable to tear my eyes away from. I forced my eyes to rise once again and offered him an embarrassed smile at having been caught. His smile was infectious and I loved the fact that he only ever seemed to bestow it upon me. His normally swept back hair was clearly lacking the product that kept it that way, as it fell in various places over his aqua coloured pools.

  ‘Making plans for us, Jasmin?’ he asked with amusement in his voice.

  ‘I’m studying the map I picked up earlier. I’m overwhelmed by just being here and won’t know where to start tomorrow.’ I smiled up at him as he pushed himself away from the frame and crossed the deep red carpet to the antique, mahogany bed I was sitting on. As he came nearer I ran my arms around his waist and pulled him to me tightly, pushing my nose to his warm skin and inhaling his masculine scent that still had a hint of citrus to it. In turn his large arms gently encircled my shoulders, as he leant in closer to stare at the map.

  ‘Do you think a pen would help?’ I could hear the laughter in his voice at the realisation that I had been lying here making pretend marks only.

  ‘Possibly… don’t you laugh at me. I was far too excited to be worried about minor details like a pen. I know in my head what I would like to see here, but I also need to take into consideration that this is your honeymoon too and ask you what you would like to see?’

  He didn’t answer straight away and I lifted my head up from his warm skin. His hands moved to cup either side of my face and he leant down to place a chaste but loving kiss to my lips.

  ‘I like that… “honeymoon”… Yes, that’s precisely what this is. I’ve been to Rome before, Jasmin, and it’s one of most beautiful places I have ever visited. Starting tomorrow, I get to see it through your eyes and I know I will love it even more, just as every day we spend together I seem to love you more.’

  It felt like time, for a small moment, faltered. I had heard the words but wanted to allow them time to soak in. His aqua eyes blinked a couple of times, uncertain of what my silence meant.

  ‘I’m falling for you, John and falling fast… but I’m just not quite there yet. My experiences have taught me to guard my heart. I’m sorry… I know it’s not what you want to hear.’ I tried to move my head out of his hold but he tightened his grip
.

  ‘It’s OK, Jasmin… don’t you dare pull away from me! You may not yet be able to say the words, God knows I never thought I would again, but you show me with your touch and your actions, for now it’s enough. You’re worth the time and energy and definitely worth fighting for, and I never lose a fight.’ His slightly tense pose was the only thing that gave away his hurt at the fact I hadn’t reciprocated those three little words. I needed him to tell me about his life first, and as much as what I had said was a lie, I just couldn’t say the words and open myself up yet again for possibly more hurt. He kissed me on my forehead and let his arms relax, they fell to his sides and he walked away towards the bathroom door. He left the door open as he stepped inside and started the shower.

  When he reappeared, he was just wearing tight-fitting grey boxers and was folding his smart trousers into their creases, ready to hang them up.

  ‘How did the call go with Alex?’ I asked, lying back down on the bed, moving my arms and legs on the pure white covers, messing them up and childishly making a pretend snow angel.

  ‘It’s good… it’s over.’ He struggled to hold back a grimace as he watched what I was doing, and the mess I was making.

  ‘What! And you didn’t think to tell me the moment you came off the phone?’ I got up onto my elbows and shot him a questioning look.

  ‘The Antonescus have been arrested and Nathan is, as we speak, on his way to join Bella. Sorry, I should have told you the moment I stepped in here, but you took my breath away and I’m just not used to someone having that effect on me.’

  ‘Well, if you put it that way… I suppose I understand. But, I need all the details like now, and what do you mean on his way to join Bella? I thought they were together, at least they were when I last spoke to her.’

  He caught me up on the conversation he had just had with Alex, as he unpacked his clothes. My sister was safe and due to be joined by the man who loved her. John and I would fly over and watch Nathan in his Superbike race next weekend, in California. I couldn’t wait to spend some girl time with my sister, but until then we got to explore Rome and spend time with each other.

  I had never felt luckier and more content in my life.

  I didn’t fall asleep until just before the sun rose. John had kept me awake initially, making love to me. I knew he was showing me how he felt and I loved the way my body responded under his care. Then, as he had slept peacefully next to me, I had lain awake listening to the steady deep breathing of the man who hardly ever slept. I was so excited to be with him and here in the place of my dreams, I just willed the time to pass until we could begin to explore.

  The kisses I felt at the back of my neck were warm and gentle.

  ‘Wake up, Jasmin. Our brunch is here and we have lots to see this afternoon,’ came a whispered voice in my ear. The touch of his lips there immediately ignited my need for him, before I even fully came to. The rattle of china let me know without opening my eyes that brunch had most definitely arrived. I felt the bed dip suddenly as he vaulted over me and back onto the bed next to me. I turned and opened one eye, watching as he picked up the tray from the side table and positioned it on his lap. Without looking at me one hand left the tray edge and came down quickly on my backside.

  ‘I said wake up, wife.’

  ‘Ouch.’ I sat up fast as I saw amusement fly over his face as he contemplated smacking my other bum cheek.

  ‘What do you fancy, apart from me? I asked them for toast, cereal and pastries. I also have tea, coffee and freshly squeezed juice.’ He winked at me.

  ‘Wow! You’re so domesticated… someone should marry you.’

  ‘Sarcasm?’ I watched as he turned his head to face me.

  ‘Yep… and?’ I questioned as I began to pull apart the croissant I had pinched from the tray.

  ‘It’s not the best thing I’ve heard you do with your mouth… You sing like an angel.’ I stopped the frantic tearing and chewing, turned my head and looked at him again.

  ‘You’ve heard me sing?’

  ‘In the bath, yes. Yet, you use sarcasm as one of your favourite ways of communicating.’

  ‘What’s wrong with sarcasm?’

  I watched as his relaxed countenance became tense, and inwardly cursed myself and my stupidity for causing such a reaction. His bare chest gave the impression he was even bigger than he was as he inhaled deeply.

  ‘My father always used sarcasm with me, to the point that I couldn’t understand if he meant the cruel way he spoke to me, or if it was all a joke… I was a teenager at the time and grew up with what seemed like, and very often was, his constant condemnation.’

  Placing my croissant back down on the tray, I then picked the tray up to move it down to the floor.

  ‘I can tell you now, my sarcasm is only ever meant as a joke, it’s never meant to be cruel… I’m sorry to hear you had to grow up like that.’ I looked back at him propped up in bed on the lace-edged white pillowcases. He had hated sharing that with me, like it was his fault his father was an arsehole. Our first relaxed morning in Rome had already been overcast with a shadow that needed lifting.

  He needed me to show him how much I cared.

  I walked around the bed and starting at his feet I crawled up him slowly, using my naked body to pull him out from the barrier he had just hastily thrown up. Once I reached where the sheet ended I began to kiss his exposed abs, licking in between the very defined lines that made up his muscle contour. With one hand I moved the thin sheet away from his body and found his already erect cock. I took hold of the base and squeezed it gently, causing a low moan to fall from his parted lips. I took in for the first time that my fingers didn’t quite meet around his girth. Looking to the side I watched as one of John’s hands gripped onto the sheets. I moved my hand to caress his neatly-groomed balls and watched his knuckles go nearly white. Turning my head, I captured his nipple in my mouth and flicked it with my tongue. I felt the moment his restraint snapped and he began to try to turn me over. I quickly leapt up to standing, my feet astride his legs.

  ‘I was going to show you how I can do better things with my mouth.’ I offered his tense face a smile. ‘All you have to do is lie back and enjoy.’

  ‘Come back here, Sugar.’ He sat up and started to move towards me. Once his hands touched the back of my calves, the spark he ignited ran straight up to my core. He smiled, apparently more relaxed as he took in the gasp that slipped traitorously from my mouth.

  ‘Lie down. For once, you’re not in charge here, I am… this is about trust, John. We need trust in this marriage and for once you’re going to lie down and let me pleasure you. I’m desperate to give you the pleasure that you’re always bestowing on me.’ I watched as his eyebrow raised up high in question, but he gradually lay back down. He went back on to his elbows and I watched every muscle take the strain with his movement, he was an absolutely stunning work of art.

  ‘So, let me get this straight, you’re moaning about our sex life and we’ve only been married a short while? And you’re moaning that I pay you too much attention?’

  ‘Yes! Now lie down flat… I have better things to do with my mouth than talk to you.’

  ‘Yes, ma’am.’ The corners of his mouth creased with a hesitant smile.

  I could still sense the tense feelings radiating off him, but he appeared to be willing to at least give up some of the constant control he demanded. Slowly, I began to lower myself back down to his almost naked body. I watched with critical eyes as once again he began to grab at the sheets, balling the starched fabric in his fists.

  ‘Uh uh… hands behind your head.’ I waved one finger in front of his face, reprimanding him. With a sigh, he lifted his arms and placed them behind his head. I could imagine them gripping his hair with an almost death grip, but it would do. This was more than just me giving him pleasure, it was a lesson in trust. I wanted him to trust me but most of all, I had to admit, I wanted his beautiful cock in my mouth.

  I placed the sheet back over his c
ock and sat myself down gently on top of him. Leaning forward I ran my hands lightly over his bare chest, his nipples hardening as I rolled them between my thumb and index fingers. I heard him inhale a stuttering breath and glancing up I watched as his eyes closed in fleeting pleasure. His cock flexed beneath me causing me to inhale suddenly, my core to tense in response and my arousal to pour out, probably soaking the fine sheet in between us.

  John’s eyes shot open to meet mine.

  ‘So, you’ve got me, Sugar… what are you going to do with me?’ It appeared his passing panic at not being in control had very nearly left him, he had regained his equilibrium and the realisation that he too could tease.

  I ran my nails down his chest and pushed them under the sheet. Lifting myself up once again I took his rock-hard cock into one hand and cupped his balls with my other. Slowly I began to move my hand up and down the hard length, making sure my thumb rubbed over the eye of his cock, smearing his pre-cum over the head. Smiling, I looked up at him.

  ‘Keep your eyes on me and you’ll find out, but only your eyes, John. Your hands need to stay right where they are.’

  I tore my eyes away from his and lowered my head. Flicking out my tongue I ran it quickly all over the head of his cock, tasting him for the first time was an almost heady experience. He tasted incredibly clean, with underlying tones of his citrus body wash, but he also tasted so male at the same time. A hiss forced its way out through his teeth and in that moment, I forgot everything I had been planning, forgot how I was going to tease him slowly. I opened my mouth wider and slid his cock as far into my mouth as I could. I could only take in just over half of him, so continued to move my hand up and down the base in time with my head.