Irrevocable (Fated series (can be read as a standalone) Book 3) Read online

  Felt? What the fuck? Fucking H Christ!

  My hands slowed as I ran that one word back through my head again. It couldn’t be possible. I don’t feel people. I felt my shoulders shrug at the thought and the solo conversation in my head. I had to fight the urge to shake my head in disagreement. I let my eyes move over her body and up to the back of her head, watching as she turned her face towards the bar area. Inhaling a deep breath, I let that terrifying thought go, promising myself I would allow myself to think about it later.

  Following her eyes, I also took in the scene. Two of the suspects were at the bar with Brent and Jack. I had relented and allowed him to help us, knowing it would be good to have him on our side when trouble flared. It appeared to be a happy and jovial gathering, made even more so by the lubricating effects of the alcohol they were consuming. But where the hell was the third suspect? I adjusted my position and walked around the bed she was lying on, in that fucking monstrosity of nothing. I could feel myself almost prowling around her, like an animal protecting what was mine.

  Mine?

  I realised this wasn’t the first time I had thought of her as just that. In my mind, I could see her floating towards me between the rows of chairs as we had married yesterday. The cold pang of fear ran its talon down the length of my spine. I moved my gaze to take in the wedding bands around her finger. The whole situation was sodding ridiculous. I closed my eyes, shutting down the whirring in my head and fell to my knees once again. Lifting my hands to my mouth I blew on them to warm them up and placed them on her flesh. It took everything I had not to let them walk up and down her body, teasing her, touching her in the places that I had already found out would make her soak her bikini bottoms. The same bikini bottoms that being just a little too small were pulled slightly into the crack of her arse, showing me the orbs of her cheeks. I allowed myself to dip my head momentarily to smell her, the distinct sweet smell of her arousal was creeping into my nostrils. She obviously loved to spar, too.

  Or did she just love the fact my hands were on her?

  I swallowed fast, trying to disguise my pleasure in those thoughts. Thank God, my now erect cock was hidden by the side of the sunbed. I inhaled, once again absorbing the sweet smell that made my mouth salivate, then turned off the thoughts and feelings that were running through my head and started to get on with what I was actually fucking here for.

  I looked up, taking in the other passengers. It was good to see people were still watching us, over the top of papers and books, in between sipping at their cool drinks. Obviously, the hot couple who were acting out their own version of war and peace were fucking entertaining. I moved my head around, deliberately not connecting my eyes with anyone, trying to appear nonchalant. Suddenly I found him, but I continued to turn my head, not wanting to make him aware of my inspection.

  ‘Turn over, Jasmin,’ I commanded more than asked. I needed a plausible excuse to stay on this side of her and had run out of skin to cream.

  ‘Really?’ she questioned with a sigh.

  I placed my mouth down to her exposed ear and whispered into it.

  ‘Yes, really. I know what you turning over will expose and I’m not at all happy about it, so unhappy that when this is over I will be taking you somewhere private and punishing you.’ She flinched and quivered at the same time.

  Interesting?

  ‘But at this moment in time I have no fucking choice. Now turn the fuck over and make sure that indecent excuse of a fucking bikini is at least covering your nipples.’ I inhaled sharply. ‘I warn you, if I see the faintest outline of them I’ll be covering them with my lips, sucking them into my warm, wet mouth and feasting on them. I don’t care who’s watching. It won’t be the first or last time I’ve made a woman scream with ecstasy in public… now turn.’ I took in how her body tensed up at my words, but slowly she started to turn, making sure as she did so that she moved her forearms up to cover her chest.

  My god, I’d make a submissive out of her yet.

  I leant back on my haunches and admired her compliant and soft body as she lay on her back and got herself comfortable. She removed her sunglasses, her blazing amethyst eyes met mine in defiance and I watched as she adjusted the top of her bikini, making sure the fabric was bunched together over the top of her nipples, leaving her extremely well-formed globes exposed to the sun. My balls ached with wanting her and when I watched her tongue flick out and gently wet her pretty lips, all I could see was how she would look on her knees with those same lips around my cock. I heard the hiss as it came out from between my teeth and a ghost of a smile swept over hers in the knowledge that she had affected me.

  I sat mesmerised watching her fingertips, she held her hands up in symmetry and caressed the newly exposed pale skin of her breasts. This part of her, aside from those dazzling eyes of hers, was fast becoming my favourite bit. I could feel her following my gaze and in my peripheral view I watched as she unconsciously rubbed the very top of her thighs together. Her fingers followed the ties up to her collarbones and she ran them deftly behind her neck. Her dilated and aroused pupils focussed on mine. It was a sultry sexy performance that she was putting on for me now, and Jesus fucking H Christ I was loving every single moment of the torture.

  The realisation of what she was about to do flooded through my usually alert system, just a split second too late. I watched as she released the ties and sat bolt upright, letting the top fall away. Her beautiful breasts tumbled out for all to see, not just me but everyone who was looking in our direction.

  Her eyes dared mine.

  They dared mine, to do something.

  They dared mine, to try to control her.

  Blood pounded hard around my body, as on instinct I fought to keep down the roar that was making its way up at breakneck speed and trying its hardest to erupt out of me. I swept up the black fabric she had worn out of our cabin and thrust it into her arms.

  ‘Cover yourself up… NOW,’ I managed to force out instead of the roar that had previously threatened. Jasmin didn’t move, she just clutched the fabric to her.

  ‘You say you don’t want me, John… you say that your past has shown that you can’t have a relationship with me. Therefore, I’m not yours to command.’ She shrugged her shoulders at me in fake acceptance.

  Frozen to the spot with emotion, I watched as the beautiful young woman in front of me very carefully stood up. Every movement was carefully planned. I could tell this wasn’t her, she didn’t enjoy standing and showing off her breasts to anyone who wanted an eyeful. She was doing it for me. She wanted a reaction. I wasn’t sure what exactly she was trying to prove, I couldn’t process the facts in my ordinarily logical mind. I just knew her bare breasts were calling to me to do something, anything, to stake a claim on her. Jasmin started to move away from me. Unrelenting, my feet rooted to the spot, I hung my head and clenched my fists to my sides. Closing my eyes, I concentrated hard on controlling my breathing. Jasmin made me feel vulnerable and I hated it.

  Control was my go to, it was my mantra when all else failed.

  My head thought back to my mama, just for a second.

  “John, being vulnerable isn’t a sign of weakness. Sometimes not having control over every situation and still being there shows how strong you are. Our own vulnerability can sometimes show others our greatest courage.”

  I remembered word for word our last conversation, before I was shipped off to live with my father. My mama died three weeks later.

  A few seconds went by before I heard Jasmin’s voice and I allowed myself to slowly turn. Lifting my head I could see Jasmin had her back to me and was talking to suspect number three. Although I could see that she appeared to be tying the material thing around her front, I could see by the salacious looks he was giving her as he looked her up and down again, he had seen my woman’s body and liked what he saw.

  Every professional, reasonable and controlled thought left my head in a single second. Gone was every strand of fucking reason, she had played me li
ke an instrument in her very capable hands. For the first time ever, I was at risk of blowing a whole operation.

  She was mine.

  Mine?

  The thought was so disturbing I felt nausea rising inside me, but it didn’t stop me stalking towards her. I strode, with absolute commitment to the task in hand, to where she stood. The suspect stopped talking and stared me down. I didn’t acknowledge him.

  ‘Jasmin.’

  ‘I’m just talking to… sorry I forgot your name again?’ I heard her utter the words with the sing-song voice that I had heard earlier. The one she used when she pretended she didn’t care.

  ‘Jasmin,’ I spoke again with more force.

  ‘What’s your problem? She’s talking to me,’ the suspect put in. With as much control as I could manage I spoke again, completely ignoring the fact he had spoken to me, or even existed at this precise moment. A red mist had descended over my eyes. I no longer took notice of the details I would normally absorb and digest. She was turning me into a hormone-filled teenager. I hated it, but I could no longer control anything around me. I was laid bare in front of the audience at the pool side.

  ‘Jasmin, turn around,’ I tried again, my voice leaving me with more force.

  Jasmin froze in front of me as the bloke began to stand. Oh, this should be fun. I started to flex my fingers and crack my knuckles. The way she had made me feel meant I was barely holding on to any slither of restraint. I needed to use my hands on someone and if not her, as I punished her and made the plump cheeks of her arse pink, then his face would do as an alternative. I subconsciously stood to my full height.

  ‘SIT the fuck down, this is between my wife and I,’ I spat out over her bare shoulder. This wasn’t the sort of distraction I had dreamt of when this whole scene had been thought up, but it would do.

  ‘John?’ I heard Brent’s voice next to me. The situation unfolding in front of his eyes had called him over to my side.

  ‘It’s OK, Brent. Jasmin and I were just leaving. I was just explaining that to this gentleman.’ Finally, she turned and looked at me, guilt washed over her face as she realised she had taken the situation between us much too far.

  ‘Yes, I’m sorry, my husband is right, we should be leaving… I’m sorry to have disturbed you.’ I grabbed hold of her nearest hand and pulled her without restraint into my body. Everything within me started to calm down as she placed her arm hesitantly around my waist. In a few seconds the red mist started to waiver and my arms came down around her, holding her tightly to me.

  The suspect sat back down, obviously realising that now wasn’t the time. I could see by the sneer on his lips he thought he would get one over on me another time. Pushing him away from my thoughts, I started to walk us away from the situation she had catapulted us into. Brent followed and the three of us walked the short distance back to the bar. We all knew that Jasmin and I had probably sacrificed the whole mission that we had been out here for in the first place. Brent stayed at the bar and I steered us towards the double doors that led back to our cabin. I saw Jack question his sister wordlessly, he must have been happy with her answer as I watched him stand down.

  Behind us I heard Jack raise his voice. ‘Here’s to passion, you can’t fucking live with it, and you can’t fucking live without it.’ It was followed by a loud chink of glasses.

  My hand found the door handle but just as I began to pull it open, it opened up in front of me and to my relief I saw Rik was pushing it from the other side.

  ‘Good timing boss,’ he whispered as we moved past him. Thank God, we had managed the job in hand. My head once again lifted through the mist I had felt descend earlier, bringing me through and out the other side. But it wasn’t my head Jasmin needed to be wary of.

  My cock twitched as she compliantly fell into step beside me, not easy as my long legs once again ate up the carpeted corridor. I moved faster to cause her to run just a little at the side of me. I wanted to cause her a little discomfort after the fucking stunt she had just pulled.

  ‘John, I can’t keep up with you.’

  That was it, it was all the excuse I needed. I spun around wordlessly, standing in front of her and allowing my gaze to wander downwards. I took in the view of her bare breasts beneath the sheer black fabric she had tied around herself and it was all the ammunition I needed. I picked her up, threw her over my shoulder and continued to stride down the corridor.

  ‘What the hell? John…?’ She balled up her hands and punched at my back and the top of my arse cheeks, without much conviction.

  I didn’t answer her, well not the way she was expecting.

  My hand shuddered and I allowed it to do what it needed to. I lifted my arm and brought my cupped hand down hard on her firm but plump arse cheek.

  ‘OUCH.’

  ‘Quiet, woman!’ I released a laboured breath of relaxation.

  I continued to stride to our cabin door. As we got there the door swung open and our cabin steward appeared. Taking in our position I saw colour overtake his cheeks and he stuttered some words to us that I didn’t have the time nor the inclination to listen to. I wasn’t feeling very sociable and I let the door slam shut behind us without answering him. I twisted the lock into place with a resonating click and my balls hitched up at the sound.

  ‘John… that was so rude,’ came from a voice in the small of my back.

  ‘Rude?’ I questioned, knowing I would be leaving the guy a big tip when we left to make up for my arsehole behaviour. ‘What sort of behaviour do you think you were displaying out on the deck? For everyone to watch, I might add. That was fucking rude.’

  ‘I was causing a scene, that’s what we were supposed to do, wasn’t it? That’s what you wanted.’

  ‘Oh right, yeah, causing a scene… so that’s what the fuck that was. Your stupidity almost cost us the whole purpose we were there for in the first fucking place.’ I let out a sarcastic laugh, then moved her and started to let her slide down my front, making sure I could feel her body as I did so. Once her toes hit the floor I lifted her chin up until she was looking at me.

  I watched as slowly the woman in my arms bled just a little bit further into my soul, using just her eyes and the warm connection of her almost bare body. The sheer fabric of her cover-up did nothing to shield her from me.

  ‘No, John, that was down to you. You wouldn’t acknowledge that there is something between us, and I needed to prove it to you. I also needed you to understand I am not a little woman who comes to you when you click your fingers and goes away at the wave of your hand.’ She placed one of her small hands over the top of my heart. ‘I recognise something in you and you recognise it in me as well. I know it’s something I’ve never felt before but I can’t answer for you.’

  The beat of my heart quickened as I watched her fingers caress my chest. The small figure in front of me scared me, her words and actions terrified me, but I accepted that in some way they intrigued me too. I wanted them. I kissed her on the forehead and then leant my forehead down to hers.

  ‘I don’t do relationships.’ I tried again to warn her away from the cold-hearted bastard she just couldn’t seem to see. I couldn’t say that I felt something too, I needed to analyse the thoughts and feelings that were so alien to me. But I had to admit there was something there.

  ‘I know, you’ve already told me… but you hadn’t met me before,’ she offered back in a small but strong voice.

  ‘My history has proven to me that I’m a danger to women who get close to me.’

  ‘You don’t scare me… I think I’ve just proven that I can take care of myself,’ she countered.

  ‘I’m too old for you and I’ve seen and done too much, to taint your life with my shit.’

  ‘I may be younger than you… but I too, have seen and felt things that I never want to experience again.’

  I shuffled my feet starting to feel uncomfortable and out of my “in control” zone. I hated the fact that she had witnessed hurt in her life, I wanted to protect
her. I took hold of her chin and stared into her eyes, ‘I don’t deserve anyone. If I did though… I’d want it to be you.’

  ‘One day you’ll have to tell me why you think that… Until then, that’s as maybe… But I do deserve someone and I choose you… Please, please choose me.’ Her eyes filled with tears and the last part of the sentence came out on a whisper. But I would have heard it, even if I’d had to lip read.

  ‘I’ll try,’ I forced out.

  I watched as a tiny smile spread over her lips.

  The tears that had collected in her eyes now spilt out and ran down her flushed cheeks. I grabbed her face with both hands, then flicking out my tongue I ran it up one cheek and then the other, catching them. Lust was overtaking my thoughts and I knew I needed the beautiful woman I held within my arms.

  ‘I’m going to make love to you now, Jasmin. Enjoy it, relish it and appreciate it, because afterwards I’m going to punish you for the blatant defiance you showed me earlier. Then you will see the real me and maybe you will regret choosing me.’

  ‘Never…’ she managed to answer just as my mouth came down gently to hers.

  I felt for the bed behind me and sat down, sitting on the material of my sarong as I did so. I reached in between my breasts with a shaking hand and pulled the knot loose. I removed my see-through cover with trembling fingers and dropped it at his feet. Slowly I edged away from him up the bed, just using my elbows and feet. John was standing frozen at the foot of the bed watching my every movement. I had never seen a more delicious man in my life and wetness began to pool at the top of my thighs in appreciation of him. I felt amazing, as he couldn’t seem to tear his eyes away from my face and body.

  The late afternoon sun streamed into our cabin lighting up his muscle definition. I heard myself let out a small gasp as I took him in.

  He pushed down his shorts with both hands revealing his well-defined V, and his cock sprung free out of the top. I watched with a feeling of immense need building inside me as it bobbed with any slight movement he made. A smile took over his face as he watched me staring back at him and licking my lips.