Irrevocable (Fated series (can be read as a standalone) Book 3) Read online

  Although, I now knew that he drank black coffee in the mornings and other than that he would mainly drink water for the rest of the day. I knew he preferred meat to vegetables and had an even sweeter tooth than my own. I knew his hygiene routine was fastidious, but then with his OCD it was never going to be any other way. I also knew there were things we still hadn’t shared with each other and as our time in Rome came to an end, I was finding it harder and harder to keep my worries from filtering to the front of my consciousness, however hard I tried. I knew I would only ever have one fairy tale in the whole of my life and this was it, so I wanted to keep the feeling going, for as long as possible.

  I knew I would always love John. But, life had proven to me before that just because you want something, just because you desire something with all your heart, it doesn’t always mean that you get it.

  I finished my ice cream, but continued to watch as the children splashed in the shallow water, smiling as I watched their enjoyment of something so simple.

  ‘Oh, to be that young and carefree,’ came the deep voice in a whisper beside me.

  I turned my head as I crunched the final piece of my cone, in time to watch John smile as he took in their pleasure.

  ‘Did you never do anything like that? Not at all?’ I gesticulated my head towards where the children shrieked with glee. He followed my head movement.

  ‘No, I think I’ve been a goddamn adult since I was about ten years old. I’ve never had many friends. Losing my mama meant…’ He pondered his words for a few seconds. ‘I think it meant I closed down. My father always thought that I had something wrong with me, you know one of those “syndromes” that meant I didn’t associate with other people, well not in the correct way.’

  Taking in the pain etched across his features, I tried to find words with which to comfort him.

  ‘Well you connect with me in all the right ways… I hate that word “associate” you’ve used it before…’ He looked at me trying to take in what I was saying.

  ‘Yes, Jasmin… We definitely connect in all the right ways.’ He proffered me a quick wink, one of the winks that always made my insides immediately jump to life.

  ‘Anyway, that seriously sucks! About being so old when you were so young… So today I think we shall play…’

  I jumped up to my feet and now standing in the cool water I began to splash him further. I knew it was a fifty-fifty chance as to whether he could enjoy this easy game between us. I knew his OCD may not allow him to, but I wanted to try for both of our sakes. To help me forget and to help him live.

  John looked down at the small patches of wet spreading over his white polo shirt and dark red chino shorts. I splashed again just willing him to respond, willing him to join in my childish game. He stood suddenly allowing the water to come up his legs.

  I saw the very moment he allowed one of his beautiful smiles start to take over his face. The creases in the corner of his mouth began to twitch and slowly it spread producing his dimple. The smile continued to expand over his face, until it finally found his eyes. I would never forget the way he looked at me, his aqua eyes shining, reflecting the crystal blue water we were both now standing in. But it was the love and gratefulness that shone through most strongly. I splashed him again and watched as some of his swept back hair fell over his eyes. His eyes never once left mine staring through the errant strands and I watched as he lifted one hand up and curling his index finger he silently beckoned me towards him.

  In response, I took a step further back, careful of where I placed my feet, in case I slipped on the slightly slippery stone underneath them.

  ‘Do I look that gullible?’ I questioned, as I watched him take one step towards me.

  ‘I would use many words to describe you, Jasmin.’ He placed another foot nearer to where I stood, in response I went back further. People had begun to watch us intently. I mean, who would be able to tear their eyes away from the God like figure that was stalking towards its trapped prey.

  ‘Oh, right… and just what words would you use to describe me?’

  ‘Beautiful… lovable… accepting… intelligent… talented… but never my associate.’ With every word, he got very slightly nearer to where I now stood stock still, taking in everything about the man I loved and committing it to memory. His fingers lifted my chin up to his face and he brushed his thumb over my bottom lip. His head dipped towards mine with his eyes only focussed on my lips. But the kiss never came and within the space of a few short seconds John had wrapped his other strong arm around me, lifted me up and moved me further backwards, directing my shoulders under the spray of the water feature.

  ‘ARGHH!’ I screamed as the cold hit my back, my instant reaction was to slap at the top of his arms.

  His laughter filled the Piazza di Spagna and others around us started to laugh at my distress and then go about their own business once again.

  ‘Yes, wife, I think you are extremely gullible.’ Slowly he let my feet come back to the floor and he gave me the kiss that he owed me.

  I heard the old man who had been sitting next to us at the edge of the water, with his own wife, as he uttered, ‘Bellissimo.’ He held out his hand to help, as John assisted me out of the water and back onto dry land to retrieve our previously discarded footwear. Italians, it seemed, loved to be in love. That thought warmed my wet, chilled body.

  ‘Where to now then, Jasmin?’ John asked, as he bent his large frame down to place my sandals back on my feet like he was Prince Charming.

  ‘I think a slow stroll home. We’ve seen some truly beautiful places in the last few days, places that I’ll never forget… But, as it’s our last night here I want to get all dressed up for you and quite frankly I think you owe me your fine body in a suit.’ I raised my eyes in question and waggled my eyebrows, not something I was particularly good at, but it seemed to have the desired effect as I saw his pupils begin to dilate at what I was saying.

  He laughed as he lifted my soggy ponytail up to place his hand on my neck. His thumb and forefinger caressed the spots where he knew he could find my pulse.

  ‘OK, another game while we walk.’

  ‘Fine, but first you need to tell me if you intend to wear any of my gifts that you received a couple of days ago?’ I turned my head towards him, feeling a blush consume my cheeks.

  I thought back to the beautifully wrapped box that had been delivered to our suite. I could tell it was going to be an expensive gift as soon as it had arrived. After slowly lifting the lid I had peeled back the lavender coloured tissue paper inside to reveal some exquisite underwear. The box contained, among other things, a white basque, suspender belts, matching bras, the finest stockings I had ever seen and felt, plus lots of knickers and thongs. A small card had been placed on the top.

  I hadn’t yet had the opportunity to wear any of it.

  ‘You dress up for me, John and I’m sure I can dress up for you.’ I gave him a broad grin with my answer.

  ‘Then I’m sure I can be persuaded to suit up, wife.’

  As we walked on through the streets, our bodies couldn’t help but absorb the romance of Rome.

  ‘Right have you ever played “never have I ever?”’ I questioned, as I placed my arm tightly around his waist, bringing his body close to mine.

  ‘No, I’ve told you I’ve not really ever played games.’

  ‘OK, well I’ll start. It’s quite simple… I say a statement that begins “never have I ever” and I’ll say something I’ve never done. You answer if you’ve done what I’m saying I haven’t. Normally we would have to drink down a shot in punishment if you have. But I think it would be more fun, if say… maybe we can do some forfeits later?’

  John stopped walking and spun me around, pulling me in tight to his hard body, my pulse began to accelerate and I looked up at his boyish grin.

  ‘I like the sound of this game, please tell me you’ve only ever done shots before though and not forfeits with anyone else?’

  I held my first
three fingers on my right hand up to him and offered my girl guide promise.

  ‘I promise that I haven’t done forfeits with anyone else.’

  ‘Good.’ His mouth went straight to my neck making my insides quiver with need for him.

  Secretly, I had been planning this game in my head for a couple of days. I saw it as a way to find out some more about him, and hopefully to, in the process, act out a very hot dream that I had the night the beautiful underwear had arrived.

  ‘So, never have I ever, been to Rome before.’

  ‘Well you know I have.’ He smiled his answer.

  ‘Good! You owe me one forfeit…’ I licked the tip of my index finger and drew it down, signifying one point to me. ‘Never have I ever, been on a cruise before.’

  ‘Neither have I.’

  ‘Never have I ever, welched on my siblings.’

  ‘Firstly, I don’t know what the hell “welched” is, but if it’s something bad I’m sure I’ve done it to mine.’

  ‘Oh good, two forfeits for me.’ I pulled up the side of his T-shirt with my fingers and placed my hand onto his skin, needing the connection for my next question.

  ‘Never have I ever, been in love before.’ My voice got quieter with the question.

  ‘Neither have I.’ My heart quickened at his response.

  I felt his body tense up, he knew what my next question was going to be, I just knew he did.

  ‘Never have I ever, been married before.’

  We walked several steps more in silence. I felt his body tighten as he took in a deep breath.

  ‘I have… I’m ashamed to say that I didn’t love her though.’

  ‘Sorry,’ I offered. I was sorry, not sorry for getting the answer I wanted, but a bit sorry for having tricked it out of him.

  ‘You’re OK… I’ve been meaning to tell you, but there never seemed to be the right moment. I knew you took in what Brent said on board the ship. I just can’t go into it all now though, not just yet… I will tell you what happened, but not here in Rome. I don’t want to ruin our trip. Is that alright?’

  ‘Yes, it’s fine. I’m sorry for tricking you into the admission. I just needed to know. Right, here’s my last one. Never have I ever, wanted…’ I pushed up onto my tip-toes and forced him to stop walking as I clung to him and I whispered in his ear, ‘to have anal sex with anyone… before I met you.’

  ‘Jasmin, I’m not answering that… just know that as your forfeit for tricking me, I will be exploring every part of you tonight.’ My heart quickened as I took in that his eyes had coloured over with their dominant navy blue hue.

  Suddenly, I almost had to run alongside him to keep up.

  It appeared my husband was now on a mission to get home and although nerves were fluttering around my insides, I couldn’t dispute that I too had a need to make it home as soon as possible.

  I took one last look in the mirror as I straightened the blue silk tie Jasmin had bought me and then pulled down the bottom of my pin-striped shirt sleeves below my suit jacket, by the one inch that I required. It was just enough to show half of my chosen cufflinks. I turned around and checked my reflection. It was strange having no gun and holster, but at the same time losing them for the last few days had helped me relax into our honeymoon. I ran my hands over my hair out of habit, it was swept back just as I liked it and I was once again clean shaven. My old persona was back in place, but the reflection showed more than just my old persona, it showed a happy version of what I had been before.

  A sudden noise from the bathroom made a smile flicker over my lips.

  God knows how much longer Jasmin would take to get ready?

  I had heard it was a woman’s privilege to keep a man waiting. Although I normally had a problem with shoddy time keeping… hell, I was the most impatient person I knew, I knew that I would wait for her, for forever if necessary.

  That was a heady realisation.

  I crossed the few steps to the antique, kidney-shaped dressing table. I picked up my watch, placed it around my wrist and snapped the clasp shut. I adjusted it to its correct position on my wrist and checked the time, we had an hour to spare. I had managed to get us a table at All’Oro, a Michelin starred restaurant that only sat six people at a time. It was expensive, intimate and offered stunning views over Rome from its roof terrace. I wanted to spoil the woman who was singing away to her hearts content as she dressed for me. I wanted to give her as much as she had given me. That, I was slowly beginning to realise, was going to be near to impossible. She was teaching me how to live, not just to exist, but to truly live.

  What do you give to the one person who was encouraging you to take your life back?

  I shook my head at my question. At least this trip to Rome had been a start. I planned on spending the rest of my life giving her everything I had, as I tried to repay her.

  Now all I had to do was wait. Jasmin had taken several pieces of the underwear I had chosen for her into the bathroom, along with a pale lavender fitted dress I had picked up for her in Madrid. I couldn’t wait to see her in it. I felt my cock twitch in my boxers at that thought and at the thought of claiming my forfeit from her later tonight.

  Unable to sit with a raging hard-on, I parked my backside on the edge of the dressing table and looked towards the bathroom door. It hadn’t helped that she had made me keep my hands and every other part of my body to myself earlier. The word she had used was “anticipation,” to me it felt like goddamn depravation. I gripped my hard cock through my smart trousers, trying to get momentary relief. The woman had turned me into a teenager. I crossed my arms over my chest and continued to wait, unable to stop my black shoes from tapping together as I counted the time away.

  I heard a click and watched as the door handle turned down, as she began to make her way back out to me. The bathroom door opened slowly, she was obviously hesitant. I stood up and shook my trousers down my legs and buttoned up one button on my jacket. I knew exactly the way I wanted her to see me, I wanted to remind her of the day we had married.

  The vision that emerged from the doorway was mind-blowing. The dress was fitted, with a lacy layer over the top, obviously the personal shopper liked lace. The things she had chosen for Jasmin were so her, it was as if she knew her personally. I trailed my gaze slowly upwards, starting with her high-heeled shoes that would without a doubt be required to stay on later. Her legs were smooth, tanned, shapely and best of all they were covered with some of the sheer stockings I had given her. The dress came to the middle of her gorgeous thighs. I lifted my eyes up and over the swell of her hips, past her waist, arriving at her voluptuous breasts. The dress had long sleeves but it had a slashed neck, leaving her sculptured shoulders bare. Her hair had been put up, exposing her long sleek neck. Finally, I looked up to her face, just in time to catch the blush that consumed her cheeks at my perusal. Her eyes were bright and I watched as she took a sharp inhale of breath. To my relief she wore very little make-up, her skin was flawless and needed no help from the rubbish that other women seemed to cake their faces with. Her eyes though, with a little colour around them, had been made to look even more prominent, if that was possible?

  I crossed the couple of steps towards her as fast as I could without startling her, and placed my hand gently at the back of her neck, feeling for her pulse points. Her heart was racing, the usual zing of electricity entered my fingertips from where we touched, making me inhale deeply as it travelled around my body, waking up every nerve ending I had, and the smell of sweet strawberries hit my senses.

  ‘You, Caxap, are the most beautiful, the most stunning woman, I have ever had the privilege of looking at.’

  Without breaking eye contact I allowed my other hand to trail down the side of her body, barely touching her at all, but I knew she could feel it. My fingers found the bottom edge of her dress, then I permitted my fingertips to feel their way up and under the edge. Sheer stockings eventually made way for her hot bare flesh. She moaned at the touch, I slowly withdrew my hand
and leant my forehead down to hers.

  ‘Fuck me, wife… how the hell am I going to survive an evening knowing what you have on?’

  ‘Shall we just stay in?’ A small lust-filled voice questioned.

  I stepped away, adjusted the ever-growing problem in my groin area, looked down to the floor composing myself, then lifted my head once again and met her flushed face with a smile.

  ‘No, you started this forfeit game and I’m man enough to see it through, even if it causes me blue balls. We’re going out for the evening and our car is waiting downstairs… What did you say earlier?’ I brought both of my hands together in front of my chest, they touched only at the fingertips. Bringing them closer to my face, I bounced my index fingers up and down on my lips pretending to be deep in thought. A beautiful smile consumed her features as she grasped the fact I was now teasing her. ‘Oh yes, that’s it… I believe the word you used was “anticipation.” I’ve been anticipating your warm, velvet cunt gripping my cock, all afternoon, and now it’s your turn. So, that’s what we’re about this evening. I’m going to have you so turned on by the time we get back here, that your arousal is going to be running down your thighs.’

  Reaching into my pocket I pulled out the rose gold necklace I had found for her in a nearby shop. It had a small twisted heart encasing a gold pearl. I placed it around her neck, her hand came up to touch it the moment it touched her skin.

  ‘I chose it not because pearls represent purity, which obviously doesn’t apply to us,’ I winked at her, ‘but they also represent opening your heart, and I think that endearment was made for us.’

  ‘It’s so pretty… thank you.’